possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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