You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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