You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
