I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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