is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She needs sedatives and a leash
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
