One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
