We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
barbara walters just said penis...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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