I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Drake has all the answers
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
