i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
