There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
