Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
