porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
