walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
