Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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