on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
