I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
