Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize