Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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