names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
