sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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