What a fucking waste of an outfit
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
