Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
