The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
