I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
