you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
