It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
operation harelip BJ is a go
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
