The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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