i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
