ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
