I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
