break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
