know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
