I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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