i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
