what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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