Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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