Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
