Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
