I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And then my night got REAL pukey
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
