Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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