i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You were trust falling into bushes
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
