I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you didnt know i had herpes?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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