I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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