I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
