This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
