Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
