We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
