theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
