i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
