found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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