I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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