there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
