And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
