One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
