If that was your dad, he is hot
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
